The Journey

walking, driving, pursuing


travel the gray opaque path


fog, confusion, mist


senses confined and lacking


plodding, stumbling and falling


pain, biting and blood


must go on, must go on


determination and continuation


within reach, yet out of grasp


must go on, must go on


journey must continue

End of Day, Start of Night

horizon lined

beauty defined,
       
       rays break
       breath intake,


skies brighten
pupils tighten,
     
       heart skips
       paralyzed lips,


head lifts
reality shifts,
      
       humanity unfolds
       soul embolds,


heavens above
faith and love,
       
       spirit's afire
       hope and desire,


passed the test
lay to rest.

Andrew Belle

   It's time for a new music update. Lately I have been wearing out my iPod listening to a new artist by the name of Andrew Belle. He is an indie pop singer/songwriter out of Nashville. And he dropped an new album about a year and a half ago and it was phenomenal! I absolutely love his sound. His music just feels right when you listen to it. By that I mean it's fresh, light and free. He has a real chill vibe to his sound...kind of an acoustic 'smart pop'. He has the kind of record that will make you want to roll your car windows down and let the cool summer evening wind blow as you drive down the highway listening to his music.
   So quit reading my review and check out his stuff! 'The Ladder' has got to be one my favorites of his. Trust me you will not be disappointed!

C.S. Lewis and my Heart

   I came across a C.S. Lewis quote today that floored me. "When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you had been the only person in the world." You see, I have known this truth but I have to admit I don't think I truly understood its significance. 

   My understanding of the truth is this. God unconditionally loves each and every person individually. He loves each and everyone one of us so much that he sent and sacrificed his flesh and blood, Jesus, to die for YOU! That thought absolutely blows my mind. You are not just a number to God. You are a person, a soul that He loves dearly and knows intimately!

   Faith is important in my life. I have placed my faith in Jesus Christ. It was and continues to be the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. Its a life altering decision to say the least. I have experienced some amazing highs as well as some heartbreakingly lows in my life.  And through it all God was there with me because of my decision to follow and love his son Jesus with every single part of my heart. When I was hurting and broken God was there to lift me up and comfort me. And at other times God showed me truly how exceptional he is by blessing me with some unbelievably amazing experiences!

 I pray that you make the same decision some day. The decision to follow and love Jesus completely. Its so simple yet such a large decision. Think on it, dwell on it, pray about it and dialogue with me about it. I will be the first to tell you that I don't have all the answers but if you have questions I will give you an honest answer.

journey

walking, driving, pursuing
travel the grey opaque path
fog, confusion, mist
senses confined and lacking
plodding, stumbling, falling
pain, biting, blood
must go on...must go on
determination and continuation
within reach yet...
out of grasp
must go on...must go on
the journey must continue

-Life as I know it-

Life. It truly inspires me. All facets of it. The good and the bad. So much growth happens in life. I know I am speaking generally here but it is so true. We grow physically, emotionally and most of all spiritually all through out our life. Growth never ends in my opinion.
 Lately I have came to the realization that I have done a lot of growing. Life has thrown me a few curve balls in the past year and I have definitely gone down swinging at some of those curve balls. But I am proud to say that I have learned so much about myself as a result enduring my life's recent trials and struggles. I've been to the point of despair where the only thing that kept me from breaking down was my faith in Christ. He is my rock and has always been and always will be there in all the good and all the bad times. The problem for me is remembering to always turn to him in my good times. For me its easy to turn and cry out to God when you are hurting and suffering. Because I know he is there, I have learned to trust his love for me when I am hurting. But to give Him sincere praise and thanks when life is good is something for me to remember to do. I seem to get lulled into the pattern of life at times and focus on myself and not on God. I need to constantly train myself to focus on God because he created that pattern. He made me, loves me unconditionally and has a great plan for my life.
These are my words. Take them or leave, love them or hate them. But they are me and I will always try to best express who I am and what I feel here in a genuine and honest manner. Peace.

photo by Jamie C. Emerson

Waiting and Wanting

What is it? I seek it.
I desire it. Am I ready for it?
I prepare, I learn, I grow for it.
I remember it and will never forget it.
Pain and death mark it.
Birth and joy heal it.
I feel it.
I want it.
I wait for it.

photo by Jamie C. Emerson

It is what It is

It is what it is.

There is no change.

It is what it is.

There is no name.

Your name, his name, her name.

Accept it, deny it. Why do you question it?

Trust it, believe it, know it, feel it.

Answers, questions.

Days, night.

Similar, opposite.

Is it wrong? Is it right?

Let it out, keep it in?

Express the feeling.

Express the thought.

Let it begin.

Depression and Love

I've decided to post some more of my writing/poetry. I am still somewhat apprehensive to post it on my blog. But I am learning to trust that this is a place where I can comfortably express myself and more specifically express the creative side of me. These two pieces were written at different points in my life. One of them is very dark and written many years ago when I was going through a tough time. The other one is short but positive and uplifting. I value your comments and feedback.

Depression.
It is around me.
My heart is sore.
I know not why but I do know... it is on me.
It is in me.
I feel it through my bones.
Through the depths of my skin it caresses me.
Will it leave, I don't know?
It is heavy.
It is omnipresent.
I ask why?
I receive no response.
It is cold.
It is there.
The blackness surrounds but there is hope.
But hope is lost.
It is crushed.
My heart is shattered into thousands of pieces.
They cut my feet and the blood drips.
My feet heel but the blackness is still in me.
It is heavy.
It is here.
It is everywhere.




Love.
It is a magnificent word.
At times it is so overwhelmingly strong.
It is the reason for living.
To love, it is a gift that we were given.
Only the Almighty has the power to grant us that gift.
He alone can give meaning to that word.
He alone is the meaning of the word.
God is love.